Warning: this will definitely be a rambling post but I have to get it out of my head and written down!
I have no clue anymore. I’m not sure I can recall the last time I was actually truly happy. Whilst of course there are people/things that bring me joy… the balance of things that make me down seems way off.
This isn’t a post all about woe is me….I fear I’ve done enough of that. There has been many a time when I’ve thought I’m depressed and really should go to the doctor…but what can they do…ask me what the problem is and how can it be resolved?
So instead, it’s time to give myself a big kick up the backside and sort myself out.
I’m a creature of structure, so I’m writing myself a list of things I can do to make life easier or better to gain some control back.
Without writing a jackanory story, I run a country inn with my hubby. I also have a full time job which I’m currently on maternity leave from and a 6-year old and a newborn son. Life is hectic and with hubby basically working 17 hour days front of house, I’m pretty much juggling everything like a single parent and we’re both working ourselves into the ground…and it’s just no good for our children. This needs to change and fast – this is no way to live your life (for all of us) – I fear if something doesn’t change, our family will fall apart.
Some of the items on the list will be short term/quick fixes and others will require a whole list of its own.
In no particular order:
- More quality time with boys (actually this is my no 1 priority)
- Get flat in some sort of order/tidiness and formulate a plan to keep on top of things
- Spend less time on social media/phone – set myself times of day when I can go online
- Catch up on business ‘admin’ and put systems in place to reduce it
- Catch up on personal ‘admin’ (paperwork, birthdays etc)
- Sort out a structure to my working hours for the business
- Arrange dates to catch up with family/friends
- Speak to hubby about us/family time
- Detox/healthy eating/weightloss
- Me time
- More sleep
- A holiday
- Time for blogging
- Sort out personal finances
- Start thinking about what will happen at end of maternity leave from day job
There are probably more that will be added to the list, but that is plenty to get on with for now!
Its scary to finally write this down and admit there is a problem – in reality I should be sitting down with my hubby and talking; but a lot of the issues stem from 2 people who are both crap at communicating with each other.
For now, I’m going to try and get a good nights sleep (well as much as one can with an 8-week old) and work out where to start in the morning.
Nighty night xx